17:43 What an incredible day. I had dreams last night about me being in a Stryker with my wife and we were running around on hills with mud.
I also had a vision this morning about a former employee. She was a VP I had come to know and love as a good friend and top flight professional. One day on a conference call I’m informed she’s no longer there and no one and I mean NO ONE will speak her name. Who knows what happened there. But suddenly she shows up a vendor we work with as a VP there with a different last name. I have no clue what happened and I’m not going to pursue to find out. But this morning as I was reading the Word and going over the scriptures in 1 Peter 4, the Lord gave me a vision. It was a vision that showed me God’s love for her and how she needs prayer and encouragement.
That vision sort of set the tone for the day. The entire day has been a day of tender spots. I watched a couple of movies that were difficult. One with Marlo Thomas (true story) about a mother whose Daughter got cancer, and then she got cancer and she was in the middle of a divorce, and I might add a difficult divorce. The mother died. It was such a difficult story for me. I actually cried over it.
I think the difficulty is seeing people and their lives in the light of spiritual warfare. Shit is happening all around us and people are being killed right and left, and you feel so damned impotent. One man spoke in our home fellowship last night about the fact so many people have such divergent views of spiritual warfare that it is somewhat of a difficult concept to talk about. People really don’t understand it.
I don’t know how I can fight this war. The man brought up a great point last night: What Jesus calls you to do will be resisted by the enemy. I don’t know if I am being shown the resistance now or I am in training now to learn how to face upcoming resistance. Either way it’s a tough nut to crack.
I’m trying to work through some difficult business issues. Work is such a cluster. This deal I’m working with is an unmitigated disaster. The guy responsible for the mess is sitting on his ass and not doing anything. I have no respect for him in his position because he simply isn’t doing what is right. When he goes to see a customer he is full of shit. I’ve heard him talk. Instead of admitting we were wrong, he wants to blame someone else. He is continually blaming the program and that is in essence he’s blaming me. We caused the problem, just fix the damn thing. What’s right isn’t as much an issue as what’s cheapest. That’s another problem with sin and what Adam did. Everything is fucked up. Everything. Work, dating, marriage, everything is fucked up because of sin. Jesus certainly paid the price for us, but that doesn’t eliminate the problem, it provides a temporary solution. We are strangers on a strange planet inhabited by inept creatures caught in the middle of cosmic warfare that is killing people everywhere and they simply don’t get it!