A prayer of lament

Psalms 46:10 (AMP) Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!

Father: I need to keep this verse constantly in mind. I am weak and feeble when it comes to my flesh. I’m literally miserable about it. I’ve allowed it to run amok and I don’t know what to do. I can’t make it better. When people come to me and try to tell me that you are ‘pleased’ with me, I don’t believe them. I see you like a big ‘father’ that is always half put out with me because I fail so often and fail this task. I try to get past my limited view of you and I just don’t do it. I don’t know how to ask you for help. I just am so miserable internally about this. Help me to cease striving and let be and be still as this Psalm admonishes me to do.

I absolutely hate being ‘weak’. I’m not into weakness, I want to be strong. Yet I am weak in this area. I might try to project strength, but I’m not. I’m weak.

I’m also silent. When I get like this, I shut down. I don’t talk to people and I don’t communicate with people. I just shut up. David admonishes me to not do this as well!

Psalms 51:15 (AMP) O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

Thank you Father

Hyde (Sometimes Jekyll)    

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8 thoughts on “A prayer of lament

      • If you have never fasted, I would start by cutting out a meal. If you eat three square meals, try to give up one. Pray during the time you would normally eat if possible. When we have emergency situations we have to get radical. Once you “master” this try to do a day of liquids if medically possible. If you can’t give up meals, the Daniel fast is a good option (google it). I hope that helps.

  1. It’s easy to shut down and shut people out when shame and guilt fill you up. Just when you begin to see progress, the enemy messes with your mind. Guilt and shame come from him, not from God.
    Have you ever tried keeping a monthly calendar of your walk?
    Write a J for the days you’ve walked yoked with Jesus (or been Dr. Jekyll).
    Write an R for the days you’ve resisted your impulses. Even though you’ve had them, you didn’t act on them. This is GOOD NEWS.
    Write an H for the days you actually acted on those impulses (became the Mr. Hyde you feared).
    At the end of the month, do a tally. Then, compare months.
    Do a reality check instead of living in fear.
    Then thank the Holy Spirit for every day he answered your prayers.

    • I do journal, but I haven’t done a math check like your talking about. That wouldbe an interesting thing to do. You are right thouggh. I am fully aware of the attacks I’ve been experiencing in the last couple of months. It’slike a friend of mine told me, “The closer you get to God, the worse you look!” The crap I’m dealing with certainlyi has caught God off guard, just me! You are a great help Susan … I so appreciate your help and insight. I will do that!

      J (SH)

      • It is true, the closer we get to God, the more fierce the enemy attack it. See, WE are the prize, and the enemy wants to win. You are too valuable, too worthy in God’s eyes and He won’t allow you to be separated from His love.

        The enemy wants our feelings to run our lives. God wants the truth to win out.

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